Sweetness in Shadows: What Healing Can Teach Us If We Let It
By Lauren Renee Dyer
DAC, LAC, MSA
Beyond the fog & dragons…
Way back before I decided to become an Acupuncturist, my health and life were far from where I wanted them to be.
I was deeply depressed, angry, sad, difficult to be around (even with myself) due to unpredictable mood swings and migraines that kept me isolated from any sort of social life regularly. Not that I didn’t have reasons to feel the ways I was, I did (or so I justified) but I reached a point where keeping myself trapped in a spiral of anger, shame and victim-hood were doing nothing productive besides keeping me sick, stuck, and in pain.
All I wanted was to feel at home in myself—in my body. So when I decided that it was time to feel better (whatever that looked like), that I was worthy of a different life and feeling better—that was the when my healing process began.
It was not an easy turn-around but it happened—you can read more about it here. Now, I can finally call it worthwhile. I am who and where I am today—right where I need to be—able to walk along-side those who share similar feelings I had: longing to move beyond their own fog and dragons.
As I sit across and listen to my patients stories and experiences, I think to myself with a sense of hopeful detachment: I am rooting for you.
“Realizing a shift is needed, even when you are not sure of all of the steps, is progress.
You’ve awakened.”
How do you answer your body’s call to change?
From my experience, I am a firm believer that healing is not something that happens to you, but something you choose for yourself.
It’s a continuous act of conscious transformation. By consistently showing up for yourself, allowing the full expression of your emotions and shadows along the way—or even just having a willingness to recognize them for what they are—you might find yourself on a path of least resistance.
I say “might” because resistance will be there. After weeks, months, years , your body and mind adapt—even accept—the state of struggle it’s in. Your muscles tighten, your circulatory system becomes sluggish, your nervous system is dialed into a vassilating state of survival or paralysis. Once enough symptoms set in, it will tug on your attention: “Hey, um, can we maybe go about this some other way?”
I don’t know how you body speaks to you, only you do. This is the polite way I imagine it requests you look at your symptoms for what they are: signals of disharmony. Something isn’t right.
Ignore them long enough and your body will beg you. It might even curse and throw a tantrum.
How do you answer the call to change? Like a smoke detector, do you ignore the chirping or take out the batteries?
And if a fire happens? Then what…
Healing is a process, not a destination.
“I am a firm believer that healing is not something that happens to you, but something you choose for yourself. ”
You might have have heard the phrase “healing is not linear.” In our fast past world of instant gratification and reciprocal returns (equal input results in equal output), I at least found that healing doesn’t quite work that way.
Regardless, it starts with a call to change. But many people are hesitant to listen out of fear (I know I was and in other ways today this still comes up—just to clarify I’m not perfect).
Anyhow… I think this fear exists because our culture creates illusions that our answers are either as easy as popping a pill or that dabbling in something (with the expectation it will “work” right away) makes it effective—the ”I will try this once or twice and see how it goes” mindset. Insert (eating well, setting boundaries, exercising, yoga, meditating, hey, even Acupuncture) here.
Afterall, we live in a world of Amazon Prime.
Unfortunately, you body does not work this way. There is no free 2-day shipping.
There are no text-alerts updating you on your progress and date of arrival.
It’s a winding inside-job for the most part.
My point is, agreeing to work on yourself is not a guarantee of reciprocal returns nor is it a final destination.
There will be milestones, but it is a process—an ongoing one—of shedding and adopting.
Shedding the habits, coping mechanisms, conditioned beliefs, unconscious reactions, weight of the past, people, negative narratives, substances, you name it.
Adopting new habits, mindful awareness, self-care practices, therapies, and tools that resonate with you to help you return to yourself.
If you: have made the decision to heal in some way, are “doing the work” but getting nowhere, or feel painfully stuck in a set-back or downward spiral, I wrote this for you.
It’s an analogy for healing that I hope brings you some sense of direction and trust for wherever you are in your process.
Here it goes…
Healing is kind of like walking over a tight-rope or suspension bridge. Not the Golden Gate, but bear with me..
Deciding you deserve to get to the other side while taking the first steps to make it happen is one of the kindest, bravest choices you can make—even if you can't see it.⠀
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When you start out, it might feel wobbly.
You'll want to turn back and maybe you do...but your “why” comes into focus, nudging you to get out there and try again.⠀
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This time you step out a little further.
As you do, you learn more about how capable you are, how you can calm and overcome the parts of you saying you couldn't come this far.
Well guess what? You already have. ⠀⠀⠀
Change is gently underway. ⠀
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You are committed to your process: you are making new habits, speaking your truth, asking for help, adopting new tools to your wellness kit, keeping promises to yourself... You are, my friend, “doing the work.” You start to feel better, and it seems like you've got this handled.⠀
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But as you reach the middle of the bridge (your path) you sink. Things just got a whole lot steeper. As gravity will have it, this is figuratively when it feels like you have reached a new low. What are your options?⠀
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I’ve learned (and am always *re-learning*) that self-compassion, forgiveness, and trying to not assign a verdict to those moments goes a long way. Allowing yourself to *feel* every emotion does not mean that those emotions are your identity. Emotions are energy that seek externalized expression. By allowing them to come forward, they do not become trapped, forcing us to carry them (consciously or subconsciously) later. It’s all information.
To truly let go (or move forward) means letting yourself feel deeply first.
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The way I see it, when you keep showing up for yourself and tuning into what is causing your body or soul a sense of dis-ease, the easier getting to the other side becomes. You are no longer swaying in the wind, gripping harder to control. You soften and things become more stable.
Life is more aligned.
You can finally feel at home in your body.⠀
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Of course, your process will look and feel different from others. It's situational, messy, rarely linear, ever-evolving, but hopefully rewarding. I share this from my own experiences so you know that, no matter where you are on your bridge:
I see you, I’m here for you, and I’m rooting for you.
Just keep going. ⠀
Behind The Blog
Sharyn Peavey Photography
HI, I’M LAUREN DYER.
I am the Co-Founder and Doctor of Acupuncture (DAC) here at Empower in New Gloucester, Maine.
I specialize in supporting those with Chronic Pain, Emotional + Mental Wellness, and GI Health.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, these are areas that not only relate to and reflect one another, but are also close to my heart (as you read above).
If you struggle with chronic pain, anxiety, depression, sleep issues, the effects of trauma, a difficult transition, or something else, I am here help you navigate and own your healing process.
DISCLAIMER: This information is intended for self-reflection and to motivate readers to make their own health decisions after consulting with their health care provider. Please consult a doctor or other appropriate licensed healthcare professional before making any lifestyle or health changes.
The information on this blog and website are not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice.