Shadow Work: Making Our Darkness Conscious
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness in others.
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.
The most terrifying thing is to accept one's self completely.
Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
- C.G. Jung -
The Darkness: A Source of Creation
What I have found and infuse into my work at Rune is that rather than fearing the darkness - that which life ushers us into by circumstance or that which sits within us all - choosing to see it as a source of possibility, creation, and reclamation can be liberating if we let it - or at least make it more bearable.
I say all of this because I couldn’t show up the way I do if I didn’t do my own work: light, shadow, or otherwise.
Although the term “light work” (or to be called a “light worker”) never resonated with me, I see that and shadow work as similar entities. They offer avenues for reintegrating of mind, body, and soul but, like Yin & Yang, they are interdependently potent in their own ways.
However, I am not so interested in their semantics or dissecting their nuances. I am interested in process. In transformation.
I am invested in cultivating healing potential when someone possesses the willingness and courage to look within — to journey inward and explore one’s inner terrain with a sense of curiosity and self-compassion for what’s found there. For me, that is the essence of shadow work.
What follows are ways to explore this self-healing medium and start becoming your own Shadow Weaver. Enjoy…
The Work of a “Shadow Weaver”
To me, doing shadow work (or “weaving” as I prefer) is the invitation to return to oneself by deliberately looking within, gazing into the abyss of our psyche to illuminate the origin stories, memories, and aspects of our identity exiled there to be forgotten.
By exploring the hidden roots of our pains, insecurities, reactions, and behaviors, we can integrate what we find there, learn from them (if we choose), and begin the journey of alchemizing them into gold: the wisdom that allows us to remember our wholeness and embrace the spectrum of our being.
When we can bravely face what we have forgotten or willfully suppressed, can we give ourselves the grace, forgiveness, and ultimately, self-love for the roles our shadows play in our lives - why they were created - how they try to keep us safe (even if their prerogative of safety actually keeps us stuck), etc.
When we can sit in the darkness and untangle the messages our shadows hold, we can develop the skills and awareness to re-weave new beliefs & patterns. New ways of being where you give your darkness space to exist but not shroud your existence.
You take back your power so they do not run the show of your life. It’s a dance of reassuring them that you understand why they are “activated” and surfacing, but it’s okay to not live as if puppeteered on their behalf. No more.
Shadow Work De-Mystified
Shadow Work (albeit a trendy name) is simply an avenue for self-awareness and healing by reclaiming the spectrum of our humanity.
It is the practice of shining our light onto our hidden, subconscious patterns to transform them into conscious ones conducive with self-growth. It asks you to summon a sense of curiosity, courage, and patience to obtain a deep awareness of your past, receiver (or perceived) projections, programming, actions, triggers, and the ways we speak to ourselves as a result.
Engaging with it teaches us how to accept (and ideally embrace) the parts of ourselves that we desperately want to keep hidden - the parts that we deem unacceptable, unworthy, and perhaps ugly.
With a willingness to sit with what comes up, you harness the power of self-regulation by quelling the fear and discomfort around it so that the facets that remain hidden (yet often cry for attention through unconscious reactions & behavioral patterns, inner child wounding, and symptoms) can be brought to your conscious awareness - “into the light,” or so one might say.
It can be confronting, difficult, even heart-wrenching. But it can also be a gentle homecoming & remembrance of who you are.
Acknowledging what’s there is sometimes enough to let the haunting of their presence dissipate.
It guides you to remember you are safe in your body and capable of tending to all parts of yourself.
No matter how disillusioning or disturbing our Shadow might be, facing it ultimately empowers us to make different choices when it comes to our perceptions, habits, and reactions. When we embrace our Shadow, we heal our relationships with ourselves and others.
A Timeless Archetype
In Chinese Medicine, The Shadow is the archetype connected to the Metal Element whose reflective capacities invites us to shine a light within. Beyond that context, the Shadow is a timeless entity in itself. It is universally present across different cultures even if it goes by a different name. In the West, it is most connected to the work of C.G. Jung who interpreted it as a symbol of the collective human subconscious.
The Shadow Revealed
On a personal level, the Shadow encompasses the parts of us we reject, repress, and deny to preserve our ego. In turn, avoiding one’s shadow is a way to evade feelings of shame, guilt, pain, fear, insecurity, and accountability.
However, when we refuse to look at our shadow, we deny ourselves the chance to experience self-forgiveness, compassion, and the awareness needed to transform our lives. If we only live from our ego, we limit our capacity to extend that same forgiveness and compassion towards others who may have slighted us in the past. Of course there are nuances to this where abuse is inexcusable. When not the case, you can also begin to realize when you are facing someone else's shadow and not take their actions as personally: an initially trying practice (yet worthwhile one) in healthy detachment.
Most importantly, by facing your own shadow you can begin to see the ways it potentially keeps you captive in thought patterns, habits, and attachments that perpetuate repetitive cycles of pain, addiction, self-sabotage, and stagnancy.
As the saying goes: out of sight, out of mind - and nobody can consciously change something they cannot see.
Unfortunately, just like a real shadow, our psychic ones tend to linger behind us also out of sight. In the absence of a trigger, that is where it remains unless we make the choice to turn around and confront it.
How To Begin
When doing Shadow Work, I strongly encourage working with a Licensed Therapist or someone you trust who can support you while processing all that can surface for you. For now, here are a few ways to begin:
Foster more self-awareness throughout the day.
Notice your thoughts and self-talk. What do they revolve around? What judgements, fears, or limiting beliefs do you have about yourself or your life? How do you perceive yourself and others? What makes you uncomfortable? Do you disassociate or engage in activities to escape certain feelings? If so, evaluate how, when, where, and (if relevant) in the presence of who?
Rather than jumping to harsh self-judgment (although, take time to recognize and sit with that too if it’s there), consider your answers as objective observations to keep evaluating.
Know what summons your shadows.
What are your triggers? Where do they come from? What are your emotional reactions if you are triggered? How does it affect your nervous system? Does it send you into fight, flight, fawn, or freeze mode? How does your body respond with visceral symptoms (palpitations, digestive upset, shaking)? Make a mental note of any trends you come up with so when you are triggered again, you can identify that your entire being is reacting from a subconscious place and perhaps (depending on the situation) not in immediate danger again.
By giving yourself permission to pause, you give yourself the space to respond before reacting and the awareness to differentiate the past from the present before potentially projecting your shadow onto others.
When heavy, unwanted emotions come up, instead of immediately labeling them as “bad," try to reframe them as your body's feedback teaching you where you are when it comes to an aspect of your healing. Or better yet, maybe the trigger is illuminating something you haven't considered healing quite yet, but might want to…
Realize when you are projecting.
Reflect on the ways your triggers show up under the guise of other people - or the ways you might be projecting an unfulfilled need onto others. It can be those you know or strangers. Oftentimes, our own wounding and shadow perceptions make it so we unintentionally blame other people who are removed from a core trauma that led to the trigger in the first place.
Their actions might still trigger you even if it was not their intention. Although intention does not always outweigh impact (manipulative situations aside) differentiating helps lessen the charge only when you are aware enough to know their actions have nothing to do with you and your reaction stems from your own Shadow.
So, next time you are irritated by or resentful of another person, take a step back and see if there is something about them that reminds you of an aspect of yourself that you judge. In realizing this, can you shift judgement towards a gentler understanding of where it comes from? If they reflect or embody an element of yourself that you deny expression, can you take back your own shadow and allow expression for yourself?
Realize when the projection is you.
Have you ever been baffled by someone’s reaction towards you?
Maybe it seemed out of proportion, overly defensive, or even antagonistic? Chances are you are stirring something in them that is causing them to project their wounding onto you. It is not always our job to let someone know when they are reacting from their subconscious, unmet inner child, or evading accountability. Your job is to pause enough to identify it, protect yourself, and engage accordingly.
You can do this by setting a boundary or using de-escalating language. Consider it a chance to practice the art of detachment.
At Rune, I have created a haven for care where you can safely journey within and lovingly re-weave your shadows into the web of your unique, vibrant being. When you are ready, it is my privilage to light a way forward for you.
BEHIND THE JOURNAL
Hi there, I’m Lauren Favreau.
I am the Doctor of Acupuncture and Founder here at Rune in New Gloucester, Maine. I support clients for Emotional Wellness, Chronic Pain, Digestive Health, and Women’s Wellness at all stages of life with an approach focused on reintegrating the psyche, body, and spirit.
I am passionate about guiding others to reveal and reclaim the essence of who they are in order to live a more embodied and vibrant life - one where you become your own healer.
If you would like to learn more about Acupuncture, my care, and other topics like this one, peruse The Journal as well as my Instagram (@runeacupuncture) for more.